Being Squirrel

Four Things American Dudes Can Learn from French Guys

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My life should be called, “American Girl in Paris,” kind of like Carrie in Sex in the City. I have spent a lot of time in France over the years and have noticed a few things. Besides their burgers being the best on earth their men aren’t half bad either. Through the years I’ve had a lot of love affairs with a french guys, some more meaningful than others but all memorable. I believe the guys in the States could learn a thing or two from their counterparts from across the pond. Should we say the Frenchman have that certain Je ne sais coix? Well, they have something and dudes all over America should listen up and take notes!

Don’t ask a woman’s age. America is age obsessed! It’s all over the media and unfortunately part of our pop culture. We constantly see headlines, “How does it feel to be 40?” “What’s it like being 50 now?” Turning 40 means you’re over the hill in the United States! Age is just a number. You feel how you feel. Women especially are made to feel awful unless they are 33 years old or younger. The dating scene in America doesn’t help with the issue. The first thing a guy asks is, “How old are you?” Online dating sites don’t help the matter either. You have to reveal your age and give an age range of what you are seeking. Why not focus on the qualities of the person? My experience in France is the men do not care how old you are. The men I’ve dated in France have never asked my age, they don’t care! I once asked a man I was dating there why this is and he explained to me that it is considered rude and it’s irrelevant. Men in U.S.A take note. Tip number one: Don’t ask a lady her age! Now repeat in your head.

Up your romantic game. Maybe it’s my generation, which is X, but the conversations surrounding my girlfriends is where has all the romance gone? A little romance will take you a long way. I am not talking about big gestures, small ones count for a lot. Part of this is being chivalrous, which has gone missing too. The frenchman I have dated our romantic by nature. They don’t even think about it they just do it. Writing a note, making dinner, picking a flower along the road, going on long walks in the rain, yes this is romantic and has happened to me! Being romantic doesn’t me pulling out your wallet. It’s the small gestures that make her feel special which equates to romance. Last year I went out on a lot of dates and not one guy showed a romantic gesture, they also lacked chivalry. Friends who are happily married have complained about the lack of romance in their relationships.  Married men should be taking notes too! Putting a little more effort in the romance department will pay off in dividends dudes… If you know what I mean. Frenchman can also be amazing lovers, but that’s a whole other post.

Leave the games for sporting events. Game playing is so exhausting that I am sure both parties don’t want to participate but it happens. Guys love to play games on and off the field. I will wait three days to contact her, no complements because I don’t want to get her head to get too big, no weekend dates, can’t meet my friends or family because I don’t want to give her the wrong idea. Do any of these sound familiar? Guys master the game playing when it comes to dating. Its part of our dating culture. Not in France! The men are not as calculating. If they want to see you they will. They don’t play text/call games. They are upfront and honest. If they are not into you they will tell you. I have been introduced to a french guy I was dating children like it was nothing. I was made to feel a part of the family and it was like any other day to them. They go with how they feel, not strategizing every move. They wear their heart on their sleeve and not in their brain. On the flip side as a woman dating a frenchman you are made to feel that you don’t have to play games either. Reach out when you feel like it with no regrets. Sleeping with them on the first date is not the nail in the coffin like it is here in the States. Loving is loving, there should be no time limit.

Dress to impress. Who ever taught you to wear a wrinkled shirt out in public and no less on a date? This is a big no, no! Guys, make sure your clothes are in this decade. Faded blue jeans that are so baggy you could put your groceries in them is not in style. Go to the Gap and buy this decades jeans. They don’t need to be “skinny” but a good fit to your body. Iron your shirts. The dryer is not a dry cleaners. It does not get rid of wrinkles. Invest in an iron or pay for the dry cleaning. But whatever you do, do not go out with wrinkled shirts. A nice belt is a good investment too. French guys know how to make it work on any budget and everything is pristine and put together. Try Zara for inexpensive trendy menswear. Guys, wrinkled shirts not allowed!

I am sure this might piss off some men reading this or name calling to the writer but this is my opinion. Having a family home in France for the past 17 years and dating in both countries this is what I have found in the dating cultures. Yes, there are American guys who are romantic and don’t play games but that is not the norm. Lucky for me an American dude is currently stealing my attention! French guys will have to take a back seat… for now. đŸ™‚

~Kisses Being Squirrel

 

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